Adoptees from Overseas

By: Abigail Cumbus

When I was a day old, I was left in a box dressed in a yellow shirt and red pants at the Dongfang Market in a city named Xuwen in China. I was found and taken to an orphanage where I stayed for a year until my parents adopted me at thirteen months and took me back to the United States where I’ve grown up. Since then, I have been able to live a life that I would never have been able to have if I had stayed in China. Though this is my story, it is not the only one like it. Adoptees Caleb Teagle and Ellie Wyrick have similar stories to mine regarding how they got to this point. Wyrick was adopted from China at almost a year old. Her parents flew in and took her back home to the United States. Teagle was adopted from Guatemala at six months, two years after his older sister was adopted (also from Guatemala). This doesn’t come as a surprise as Guatemala was the second most popular country to adopt from behind China at the time according to National Public Radio.

Something that looms in the heads of those who are adopted is the large question mark about our biological family. I personally look at my thumbs, wondering why each thumb has a different shape from the other. Which thumb belongs to which parent? I wonder what qualities are a part of my nature and what qualities are due to the environment in which I grew up. “Sometimes I think, ‘Why did they give me up for adoption? Was it for a good reason or were they just maybe lazy parents or something?’” Teagle expressed to me in a quiet voice, arms in a relaxed and crossed position. In China, a one-child policy was placed in order to get the growing population under control, leaving those adopted from China wondering if there are unknown siblings along with the mystery parents. “I wonder if I have a brother or a sister or a twin or something because I think I was adopted due to the one-child policy so maybe, but I haven't met any of them or even seen or even heard,” Wyrick said in a shy voice, fidgeting with a bag she had in her hand.
A struggle that kids adopted from other countries experience is a loss of culture. When you’re young, you don’t think about it, but when you find a more diverse group of people, especially those of the same race as you, you realize that you’ve lost a big part of your native culture. You’re still grateful for the family you grew up with, but you’re also very disconnected from what you would have if you had stayed in the country you were adopted from. Teagle and I especially shared this feeling as he expressed to me, “I can kind of get down about [being adopted] with the whole culture thing, because [I’m] whitewashed a lot, so I don’t really know [about my culture]. Especially in society, people will see me as Hispanic, but at the same time when I meet other Hispanic people they’ll see me as white-washed, so it’s kind of like I’m in between, and I don’t really know who I am, and it gives me some insecurities and identity questions.” This loss has placed a desire to learn about our native cultures and even our native languages. Personally, I’d love to learn Mandarin despite the difficulty of the language. For Teagle, he wants to learn how to speak Spanish as that is his native language. Some families will try to keep part of their adopted child’s culture with them. A Wyrick tradition is to celebrate Chinese New Year in their own way. “We do Chinese New Year, not seriously, but just in a fun way. We do hot pot and do red envelopes and that’s pretty much it,” Wyrick explained.

Another struggle for those who are adopted into families of a different race is the clear-cut difference between you and your parents. It’s a constant reminder that you are not your parent’s biological child. “Sometimes I’m glad that they wanted me. Whenever someone tries to make fun of me I can say ‘Hey at least my parents wanted me.’ At the same time, it comes with like ‘Oh, I’m not biologically theirs,’” Teagle said. 

“It can be hard sometimes because deep down you know you’re different, but it’s not that bad,” Wyrick commented. 

Adoption is a part of many children’s stories. It adds a uniqueness to us. It sparks an interest in those around us. Even though it’s something that I find normal and nothing too special, when I tell someone that I’m adopted, they will tell me that it’s a very cool and interesting fact about me. “I like being adopted. It's definitely cool. It’s a cool fact about me. It’s definitely a big part of who I am,” Teagle explained. Wyrick shared similar feelings as she told me, “I feel like I’m special and I’m unique and I kind of embrace it.”